Mystery Tour Part 2

Well, they're trailing the programme now so I can tell you that the Mystery Tour was for Channel 4 Television's "Dispatches" programme next Monday  - here's the link.   So stand by for more detail and some more awful quality photos from me.

I was taking part simply as a member of the public, and the idea was that we would tour round some MPs second homes and give our thoughts. . So we all gathered at Westminster and had our names ticked off the organisers' list by a nice guy in an interesting hat

and then we boarded a bus prominently labelled THE GREAT MPs' EXPENSES TOUR.

The documentary will follow up on the MPs expenses scandal of a couple of years ago. English readers might remember the £1,645 claimed by Conservative MP Sir Peter Viggars for building a beautiful house for his ducks  (click here for a picture of the duck house and the heartwarming news that he plans to sell it for charity. Aaaah! Though not yet.  Boo!)

And then there was the £2,200 claimed from taxpayers by MP Douglas Hogg for cleaning his moat (click here to learn about cleaning moats).  

All within the rules, of course, but taxpayers were not pleased to find this was what their hard earned cash was being spent on.

Now, Prime Minister David Cameron has changed the rules on expenses so MPs can't do this kind of thing any more. But, they can do other things. Certain MPs have found perfectly legitimate reasons for suddenly changing their living arrangements, and then claim extra thousands of pounds for doing so.  So, lots of taxpayers money been saved?  Well, what do you think?

So, it was pouring with rain and the organisers of our trip looked frazzled, as you see in my last post. They're not really in the bus tour or hospitality business so they hadn't checked the bus WC and also didn't get everyone's tea orders quite right.  That was too much for one member of our group.   Before we had even set off, she shouted that she'd asked for TWO tea bags in her cup of tea, and hadn't got them - and also didn't appreciate the lack of paper in the bus WC.  "Disgraceful! This is outrageous!  I'm not putting up with this!" she declared, and flounced out.
.

My neighbour on the bus noticed that the indignant lady and her meek partner had both claimed their expenses for the trip, but they didn't repay the expenses to the TV company before they departed.    How appropriate!

:D

I mentioned masks.   These had to be worn on legal advice. Unlike BBC Newsnight recently, these programme makers had consulted lawyers every step of the way and discovered that we mustn't see where these MPs lived - even though  the information is freely available to everyone.   To comply with the lawyers' advice,  we had to put on our masks each time we approached the MP's home in question.  

On arrival, some of us would go out and be filmed discussing the house and the MP's reasons for living where they did. 

The ASDA stop was so we could use the loos, although a few people did take the chance to buy goods too. Actually, the lack of a working loo was a bit of problem.  We couldn't really knock on the MPs' doors and ask to use their bathroom, could we?

The locked and bolted door I showed in my last post was at a Surrey railway station, where we were checking the times of one MP's trains to London. There was, actually, a timetable on the platform itself.

Two people were waiting for a train on the platform. When we all marched on, they pretended not to look at the camera crew, presenter and all suddenly trooping past to discuss the timetable at length.  They just continued scanning their papers and looking at us out of the corner of their eyes.  Ah! I was glad to see the famous British reticence was still alive and well in Surrey.

Our touir guide was investigative journalist Antony Barnett,  who briefed us thoroughly. .

I was impressed by him and  impressed by the other people on the bus, who ranged from pensioners to people just out of school, all of them smart and articulate - better informed and more articulate than me, I thought.   If you see the programme, you will see me wearing a spotted sweater and not saying much.    I don't have a loud voice and I'm not that good at joining in arguments, though I did my best.

The woman sitting next to me on the bus remarked she wasn't THAT keen on close ups of our faces in high definition being beamed around the country, and I had to agree with her there.  Since I didn't say much that was interesting, I don't suppose I've got much to worry about on that score.

Here's one of the cameramen unpacking his gear.  He still has the lens cap on, but when filming,  he'd poke his huge camera between those two seats to film me. Sometimes the lens was only about 30 cm (1 foot)  away.

The outside of the bus was filmed too. We became used to finding cameramen lying in wait  at our destination or coming alongside in a car and poking their lenses up.
.

I've never yearned for fame, so I don't care if I don't end up with a speaking part .But I always find the professional process of broadcasting interesting, and I loved seeing how they were putting the programme together.  I'll look forward to the final version with interest.

So long as I didn't have my sweater on back to front, or something.